Wednesday, February 23, 2022

You Pick

As our kids are getting older, I'm trying to include them in the decision making process where I can.  

Sometimes it's exhausting making a million decisions a day for everyone.  

They love to talk through their options and weigh the pros and cons of each.  Sometimes we say Olive gets to choose or Fletcher gets to choose or sometimes we have to say they agree on a choice.  It's kind of a fun game that I hope is teaching them about making decisions for themselves.  Giving them choices has helped them feel more responsible and given them a sense of autonomy that they really enjoy.

Let me show you what I mean.

We were strolling through the aisles of Target over the weekend.  Fletcher was working on a birthday wish list and then we just walked around the store.  Olive spotted the Lunchable section and asked if they could pick out one to try.  It never really crossed my mind to buy Lunchables for them.  She said she'd always wanted to try them.  I saw that she was really excited about them so I said yes.  Both she and Fletcher scouted out all of their options, read the packages and decided that they'd both like to try the Nacho Lunchables.  They loved them and can't wait to get them again.

Water or Lemonade?

Haircut or no haircut?

You pick out your outfit for school tomorrow.

You pick out

Sometimes we DoorDash dinner and give them two options to pick from - pizza or burgers?

Do you want to have a movie night or a game night?

Would you like to have popcorn or ice cream for a snack?

Bath or a shower?

Help fold the laundry or help clean up the toy room?

Granola bar or goldfish?

Go to the park or go for a walk?

Read with me or read on your own?

A ponytail or a braid?

Heavy jacket or a hoodie?

Picnic dinner or dinner at the table?

You choose the route to school in the morning.

You pick the playlist we listen to in the car.

You pick out a present for your sibling.

You pick dinner from the menu of options on the fridge tonight.


All of these choices are ones that we pre-approve of and would be happy for them to pick either option.  Sometimes they offer in another option to see if that might work instead.  And sometimes it does.

We've had some good conversations while talking through the pros and cons.  It's been sweet to see them participate in making decisions for everyone and to see them learn to think through their options.  Sometimes we even talk about budget.  Pizza would be cheaper than burgers from Freddys.  Or it would be cheaper to Door Dash than to dine in.  I think it's a super important life skill to learn those things early.  

Do you give your kids options for tasks at home?


  1. Yes, I have always loved giving the kids a choice, especially when it doesn't really matter which one they choose. And this works well with husbands too. ;) It took me several years of marriage to realize that I didn't ALWAYS have to have an opinion on some things.

  2. Growing up we never had lunchables either, and I always wanted them b/c all the kids at school had them. So my Mom let us have for a treat once in a blue moon, and it was the BEST THING EVER!!!! Also, we started watching Yellowjackets, but it was sooooo dark and depressing we stopped after the first episode. I did look online to see what happened though, because I was very curious about the story, but I am ultimately glad I didn't have those images in my mind!!! Take care, whitney!


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