Friday, October 31, 2014

Confessions...

It's time for another round of confessions.
Cringe. Ouch. Ewwwww. Awkward.

1. Olive and I were running errands last week.  A stranger said, Cute shoes!  I said thank you while glancing down at my leopard flats.  It was then that I realized they were admiring my DAUGHTERS gold moccasins.  Get over myself!   Cringe.

2. I have been excited about Taylor Swift's new album all week long!  1989 will be mine :)  I've heard it's really great so I'll have to keep you posted on what I think.  In general, I'm a big fan so I have high hopes of another great album.  Thank you, Target, for having it on sale for $9.99.  I love it.

3. We were in the check out at Old Navy and it was our turn to pay.  I was returning an item and purchasing a few.  I explained my situation to the cashier and looked down at Olive in her stroller.  She was playing with something and had it all tangled in her hands.  I thought it was a white STRING so I reached down to grab it.  Much to my surprise, I quickly realized she was playing with CHEWING GUM!!  I panicked because I knew I didn't give her chewing gum so I quickly searched for the source of the gum.  To my horror, I realized that she'd discovered some ABC (already been chewed) gum stuck under the check out counter and was playing with it.  I was trying to pay the cashier, get out wet wipes and rid her hands of gum ASAP.  I told the cashier someone needed to come and clean up the gum under the counter.  She seemed uninterested and acted like I was crazy.  I finished checking out and parked Olive's stroller out of the way.  I thoroughly cleaned off her hands and she wouldn't quit licking them.  She thought it was hilarious and I was gagging.  Disgusting.

4. While standing in line at the grocery store, a manager struck up a conversation with me.  They were asking questions about Olive and giving her compliments.  She was playing right along and really hamming it up.  The lady goes on to tell me, You know she's not birth control, right?  Excuse me?  She's adorable and you should give her a sibling.  Thank you for that family planning advice.  Awkward. 

5. I was hot gluing headbands for Olive one evening and was on a roll.  I was proud that I was keeping Olive farrrrrrrrrr away from the HOT hot glue gun and getting a lot done.  She was cooperating with the head measuring and all was going well.... until... I was pressing together two ends of elastic and stuck my pointer finger directly into the HOT glue.  I screamed, shouted a curse word or two and pried the quickly drying glue off my finger.  Olive was studying my every move and I just know she learned a new word or two.  It'll be 100% my fault when her teachers call to say that Olive is saying naughty words in class.  Bad parenting 101.

6. I confess that every night I quietly sneak into Olive's room to tuck her in one last time.  I make sure she's comfy and the temperature is good for her.  I also snap a picture or two when she's looking extra snuggly.  Thankfully the flash has never woken her up.

7. I spent the whole morning yesterday making sugar cookies.  The labor intensive, cut out kind.  It took me hours to cut out and ice them.  My little pumpkin patch turned out just like I'd hoped... except for one thing.  They were basically inedible.  They were super dry and had a really off taste.  I was sick over it.  I confess that I used my mom's recipe that I have baked with so many times before.  I have never ruined a batch of cookies in my 10+ years making them.  I feel bad for my neighbors who did not get their edible pumpkin patches.  Worst thing was that I had promised my hubby cookies for his co-workers.  I made a quick grocery store run after Olive's nap and had a cookie redo.  I whipped up a big batch of monster cookies and they were delicious.  I also confess that I couldn't find fall colored mini m&ms, ended up buying the regular ones and picked out all the fall colors.  It may be a while before I'm in the cookie making mode...

8. Courtesy of my husband:
Kevin had a week long training on getting people to quit smoking.  He said it was extremely boring and almost painful to sit through.  At one point he'd fallen asleep and jolted awake only to realize that he was in the middle of a dream.  Guess he'd been asleep for a while.  Life lesson learned: you should always go to trainings with a buddy so they can make sure you stay away :)  He got some coffee to try to perk up.  He picked up his cup and took a big swig.  The coffee was cold which was really odd because he'd just gotten it.  He quickly realized he'd taken a big swig out of his neighbors old coffee.  My hubby is a big of a germ-a-phobe so he was horrified.  He confessed what he'd done to the stranger and then had to convince himself that he hadn't just contracted ebola.  Unlikely.

5 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness I'm dying over the story of your husband drinking his neighbors coffee! I loved all your confessions, sounds like life is never boring!

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  2. You gave me a good laugh this morning..Sounds like you had an interesting week, germs and all.. Happy Halloween!!.......Love Gram

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  3. HAHAHA oh man, definitely laughing with you. So many of those stories had me LOL! Thank you so much for sharing them with us. :)

    Katie @ Cup of Tea

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  4. Great post! I laughed at way too many of them! I got a big kick out of Kevin drinking someone elses coffee and Olive playing with old gum. I'd gag.
    Was this your first time making cookies in Mississippi? Maybe that's why they were different? Try try again. Darn them for not tasting as cute as they looked!

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  5. You are hilarious! I was just talking to Paul last night about how awkward it is when people take a personal interest in your family planning. Ha!

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